As some of you might already know, I am going through my master's degree right now in neuroscience. I'm still in my first semester and trying to get my things going. However, I am "known" to be too simple and kind hearted among my friends. Whenever I am faced with a situation be it among my classmates during school or undergrad, or situations with my first cousins or friends, or teachers or professors, or just random people from my village back home, basically anyone, I do not know how to be mean or say no or just defend myself from their continuous backstabbing or taking advantage of me and my feelings. I am constantly blamed for not visiting my relatives when they see me, but the thing is I was never called and asked by them to come over for a visit. It is this kind of emotional turmoil I am constantly put into. And it has become a cycle because I always feel like I am the one to blame, but it really is not my fault.
At the master's level, one of my classmates keeps cornering me and trying to prove herself as if I am trying to take her place as queen of the jungle. We come from the same background, in other words, we went to undergrad together in the same major, and came from the same countries we were raised in, except that she graduated from a french school, and I from an American school. Both of which are the most well known and strongest schools at our country. She may wear and hold designer bags everyday because her parents afford it, but I simply wear clothes that reflect the conservative and elegant side of my personality, and the attire most suitable at the university level. But somehow, she keeps seeing me as a target, and tries to always push me down and belittle me infront of professors or classmates whenever she can. For example, last Friday was my seminar presentation. I was asked many question my professors and research assistant, all of which I was able to answer correctly and quickly. But she was the last one to ask, and asked a question not relevant to my presentation or the article I was presenting. I did not know the answer, so I guessed. My professor backed me up by referring to her question as not relevant to my presentation, rather it is a general biology question. Ironically, none of the master students no PhD students or professors in the room as well as research assistants new the answer or offered to answer. Just one student that happens to work in that specialtyy knew and corrected it only when the professor finally diverted the question to the entire room. After that, when we finished, she just left without commenting on my presentation like the rest of my classmates. While I was leaving, my professor told me "Well done,this was a great presentation", knowing how terrified I was of it a week ago. Today, 3 days after my presentation, she finally confronted me and told me I gave a good presentation and spoke well. And she apologized for the question in a way I thought was sincere at first, until she told me, "but it was a straight forward question you should have known". I told her I never took developmental biology like she did, and that it was not what I prepared to answer for my presentation. Then she replied saying, "But the professor mentioned it a while ago in our classes". Ironically, and because I usually don't know how to defend myself if these situations which to me are emotional bullying because I just keep on looking down on my capabilities and strive to be the best I can, did not think of a comeback and just left. When I mentioned the situation to my roommate back at dorms, she told me that if that girl knows that it was mentioned in class, then why did she ask me during my presentation? I did not think of that at the time she was confronting me, but what my roommate was right. Also, the hour directly after the confrontation, my professor mentioned the question for the first time in class. i felt like telling her, see we just today learnt about that. But the moment had passed and i just was the bigger person and decided to walk away.
She also belittled my presentation saying it was okay because the professor that asks the hardest questions was not there. But I just got lucky he was not there, but if he was there, I would have addressed his questions just fine. Either way, I got bombarded with many questions which I answered correctly, and if there was one question that ruined my presentation, that would be her question especially since it came at the end of everyone's questions.
It happens that everyone is afraid of this professor as well, and thought that I was lucky enough that he was not there, but on the contrary, i love that professor, and he knows i was afraid of him, yet I went up to him and told him i missed him at my presentation. he said he had to teach during that time and apologized for not coming. We kind of have a sweet student professor relationship, and i absolutely look up to him and respect him. He has become my idol, and looks like santa
either way, I do not know what this girl's problem with me is. It is not the first time she does such a thing. In class she always speak and blurts stuff out that professors reply by "what does this have to do with X". She always asks questions and tried belittling the person presenting as she did the same thing to a PhD student before me as well. But that time the professor told her that her that she misunderstood.
This girl has grades higher than me and is not on probation like me, but she just loves "bullying" me in this way.
Once during lab, a professor asked a question to the entire class. I answered. Right after I finishd answering, she said no no, the answer is .... Just as she finished her answer, the professor confirmed my answer.
I am not asking for judgements or anything, but simply need to know if such a thing is normal. because I already have a difficult life as is trying to get through my masters tuition and proving myself as a suitable candidate to get into a professor's lab. I do not need someone to keep overwhelming me emotionally, as mentally I suffer from anxiety and self destroy myself if I don't get accreditation or approval from my academic performance.
What should I do?