Katie owns a small company that offers facility management and housekeeping services to businesses. She writes the following message to the COO of Primus Healthcare, offering the services of her company and asking for an appointment to give a sales presentation. Read the following message:
To:
harry_maslow@primushealth.comFrom:
katie.nair@starservices.comSub: Sales presentation
Hi Harry,
Want to sign on for specialized housekeeping services designed for the unique needs of large hospitals such as yours?
Our company has been providing facility management and housekeeping services to local businesses for more than two years now. The past year has seen us specializing in serving the needs of hospitals and clinics in the area. In fact, two of our key personnel have diplomas in hospital management and are well aware of the specific needs of the industry.
IMHO, your hospital will benefit greatly from switching to Star Services for your housekeeping needs. Our innovative waste management system is guaranteed to cut your costs by at least 25 percent and complies with all safety regulations. What’s more, our services are customized to the smallest detail to precisely match your requirements. All this at a rate no higher than what you are paying right now.
Please let me know what time would be good for you to attend a sales presentation detailing our services and special offers. For more information about our range of services and to read customer testimonials, please visit our website.
Ciao!
Katie
Director, Star Services
Office: 678-456-1234
Mobile: 678-123-4567
How would you rephrase the opening line of the message keeping in mind the guidelines for effective email messages?
A. Star Services wishes to offer you specialized housekeeping services that have been designed keeping in mind the unique needs of large hospitals such as yours. (continued)
B. Interested in signing on for specialized housekeeping services designed for the unique needs of large hospitals such as yours?
C. Star Services wishes to offer you SPECIALIZED HOUSEKEEPING SERVICES that have been designed keeping in mind the unique needs of large hospitals such as yours.
D. Housekeeping giving you nightmares? Relax! We at Star Services know exactly what is required for housekeeping at large hospitals such as yours!
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