Is there anybody out there with a good physics joke???

Hydrogen and Oxygen walk into a bar and see Gold... they say Au, get outta the bar!

look at a highschool textbook

my alg. 2 book has a joke for every chapter( Theyre not funny at all)

physics might too

This one election saw another electron run into another electron.  The spectating electron asks "hey man, I just saw that accident, are you sure your're alright", and the other electron says, " yeah man, i'm positive".

I made this one up (honestly):  So this man and woman were at an archaeological dig brushing off fossils.  Another man from the site comes by and asks "aw, you guys look so cute, are you all married?", and they reply "no, we're just carbon dating"

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

All science teachers get a bunch of them when they mark test scripts.  Here are two that I can remember.

1.  Question : Differentiate between a transverse and a longitudinal wave.
Answer :  A transverse wave is one which travels at right-angles to the motion producing it while a longitudinal wave travels at left-angles.

2.  State Newton's first law (inertia):
Everybody continues to live in the same state unless they are forced out.

I heard this one sometime ago, and I don't know how valid it is (since it sounds like something Little Johnny would say):

To check if the students understood the just-concluded lesson on the speed of sound and light, the teacher asked, "So, why do you see the lightning before you hear the thunder?".  One student quickly answered, "Your eyes are in front your ears".

Joke 1:
Heisenberg is stopped by a police man.  The police man asks him, 'do you know how fast you were going?'  Heisenberg answers 'no, but I know where I am'.

Joke 2:
An farmer has a bunch of sheep that keep getting outside hie old fence.  He decides he needs a new fence for his sheep.  He calls up an engineer and asks him to design the cheapest fence possible.  The engineer goes away and comes back with designs for a fence.  The farmer asks him how many fence posts and wire it will take and the engineers answer:
'It will take 400 fence posts and 4000 feet of wire.'

The farmer thinks that is pretty good, but decides to call up a physicist and get a second quote.  The physicist goes away and comes back with some designs.  The farmer asks how many posts and wire it will take and the physicist answers:
'It will take 300 fence posts and 3000 feet of wire.'

The farmer thinks this is much better, but still decides to ask for another quote from a mathematician.  The mathematician thinks about it for a minute than proclaims he has an even better answer.  The farmer asks how many fence posts and how much wire, and the mathematician answers:
'It will take 3 fence posts and 3 feet if wire!'

The farmer is amazed and demands to know how the mathematician can fence his sheep with so little resources.  The mathematician explains:
'I will take the three posts and put them in a triangle around you, then wrap the wire around the posts, and then define you to be the "outside" .'

Was that worth typing up?  Probably not...