Nini, I'm not too sure, but here's a little blurb I found on another website:
he rule for step-parent adoption is that they must have been married a year and living with the child a year. But this has protections for the natural parent and the child.
The step-parent isn't forced to pretend to love the child as his own flesh and blood just cause he's dating mom and wants to marry her. Both step-parent and child can ease into the relationship before either is legally bound to the other since children don't chose the person their parent marries.
If the marriage gets rocky during the first year, the biological parent can decide they're not sure if their spouse should become the legal parent with all the same rights as she has. Because once the step-parent adopts they have the same rights if you divorce to fight for custody, visitation, etc.
Most people getting married a second time would not want to give up their rights to the new spouse without seeing if the marriage is going to work and what kind of parent they are going to be to your kids under real world conditions.
Then there's also the issue that if the child ends up hating the step-parent, if they're over 12, they have to consent for an adoption. The kid can say, no way Jose.
Also, because you're living in the states, it's different for each state
I found this online also:
Legal IssuesStepparent adoption, like all other forms of adoption in the United States, is governed by State law. Most States make the adoption process a little easier for stepparents. For example, your family may not need to be represented by a lawyer. You may not be required to have a home study, as parents in other types of adoption are. However, every State is different. For example, some States require a criminal background check even if a home study is not required. Be sure to find out what the laws are in your State.
How long your adoption will take also varies by State. Some States will not approve a stepparent adoption unless you have been married to the child's parent for 1 year or longer.
Adoption by a stepparent generally has no effect on a child's legal right to inherit from either birth parent or other family members. For more information about how each State and territory handles legal inheritance, see Intestate Inheritance Rights for Adopted Children at
www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/inheritance.cfmConsent of the Other ParentIf you want to adopt a stepchild, you must have the consent (or agreement) of both your spouse and the child's other parent. By giving his or her consent, the noncustodial parent gives up all rights and responsibilities, including child support. Sometimes getting the child's other parent to agree to your adoption can be difficult.
The way to obtain consent is different in each State. In many States, the noncustodial parent can give a written statement. In other States, he or she may have to appear before a judge or file papers with the court. Some States require the parent to receive counseling, have the laws and his or her rights explained to him or her, or talk to a lawyer.
Some State adoption laws do not require the other parent's consent in some situations. However, it is important to do everything the law requires to obtain proper consent. Some States' laws allow for consent to be revoked, and for an adoption to be challenged or overturned, if these requirements are not met or fraud has occurred.
Some States' laws allow stepparent adoptions to occur even if the noncustodial parent objects or contests the adoption. For example, this may be allowed if the noncustodial parent has not contacted the child for a certain period of time. These situations may be complicated. You may wish to consult with a lawyer. If you cannot afford to hire a lawyer, you may be eligible for free legal help. In some States, the court will also appoint someone to represent your child (a guardian ad litem, sometimes called a "GAL").
ResourcesThe Child Welfare Information Gateway State Statutes Series provides summaries of State laws regarding certain aspects of adoption, including:
Consent to Adoption
www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/consent.cfmThe Rights of Unmarried Fathers
www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/putative.cfmWho May Adopt, Be Adopted, or Place a Child for Adoption?
www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/parties.cfmCourt Jurisdiction and Venue for Adoption Petitions
www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/jurisdiction.cfmInformation Gateway's Online Resources for State Child Welfare Law and Policy provides links to public websites for full-text State laws and policies related to adoption:
www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/resources.cfmSteps to Take1. Check out your State's laws on stepparent adoptions
You may begin by reading the laws discussed in the previous sections. However, nothing can replace the qualified legal advice of an adoption lawyer admitted to the Bar in your State. Adoption lawyers will know the relevant laws and will be able to research how decisions in prior cases might affect your situation.
2. Contact the court in your county that handles adoptions
In some States adoptions are handled in juvenile court. In other States the family court or surrogacy court handles adoptions. If you are not sure which court handles adoptions in your area, you may want to read the Information Gateway publication, Court Jurisdiction and Venue for Adoption Petitions:
www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/jurisdiction.cfmAsk to speak to the court clerk or another person who can give you information about stepparent adoptions. (Court employees may not give legal advice.) Many courts have an information packet that can be mailed to you. If the court does not have a prepared packet, find out during your phone call:
Whether the court requires you to hire a lawyer, or whether you can represent yourself
Where you can find the required legal forms (in some States, they will be available online)
3. Find and submit required legal forms
Many States allow certain publishing companies to stock and sell legal forms to the public for court procedures. In other States, they are available online.
These forms will ask questions about you and the child you want to adopt. For example, they may ask:
The child's current name, and what it will be after the adoption
How long you have been married to the child's parent
Where the child was born
Typically you will need to provide some proof of this information, such as a child's birth certificate, a marriage license, and a copy of the noncustodial parent's consent. If you hire a lawyer, he or she will take care of this step for you.
4. Go to the hearing
Once your forms have been submitted, a hearing (court) date will be assigned. How long it takes to get a hearing varies based on where you live and how busy the court is. It may be anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. You may be notified of the date by mail or by your lawyer.
You will probably be required to go to this hearing. A judge (or magistrate) will ask questions of everyone involved. Your lawyer can give you more information about what happens during hearings in your area. At the end of this hearing, the judge or magistrate will set a date for the adoption to be finalized.
5. Finalize the adoption
Adoption certificates are issued at a second hearing, which may be a few months (or longer) after the first hearing. You may wish to request extra copies of this legal document for your files. Your lawyer or the court will tell you whether or not you need to go to this hearing.
6. Apply for a new birth certificate
When the adoption is final, you can apply for a new birth certificate for your child. This certificate will have the child's new name, if changed, and list the stepparent as his or her parent.
Help for ParentsAdoption does not end with finalization. It is a process rather than a one-time event. Your child and family may need time to adjust to being a new kind of "blended family." Parenting is a lifelong job. Adoptive families, like all families, sometimes face challenges. Child Welfare Information Gateway offers a number of factsheets on issues that some adoptive families share. Some of these include:
Adoption and the Stages of Development
www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_stages/index.cfmPostadoption Services: A Factsheet for Families
www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_postadoption.cfmSelecting and Working With an Adoption Therapist
www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_therapist.cfmChild Welfare Information Gateway's National Foster Care and Adoption Directory lists adoption support groups in every State. Search it online at
www.childwelfare.gov/nfcad/.
Bottom line, sounds like a lot to look at 
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